He did not want to have sex but was confused as to what was expected of him. Therapists who are clear about their intentions and limits are able to work more closely with their clients without risking misinterpretations. If, on the other hand, this client did want sex and I had not previously stated clear boundaries, he would not necessarily be wrong for enquiring. Massage therapists have the honorable task of holding the two separate while joining the body and heart. There are many ways for a client to become confused as to the role of sexuality in a massage. If the client apologizes and desists, and the therapist feels comfortable and safe, the session can be completed.
Without clarity, neither party can fully relax. I want to be clear so that you are not confused as to what is possible. Client Violation If a massage therapist has made it clear to a client, whether through verbal or written explanation, that sexual acts will not be performed, and the client still chooses to ask the therapist to be sexual, the therapist should restate the boundaries or ask the client to leave. There are less-extreme ways, however, that clients can violate the therapeutic relationship. Therapists must hole very clear intentions of not being sexual with their clients and not send mixed messages through their hands. And while the last forty years have changed this perception, by legitimizing massage as a viable and honorable profession, there are still gray areas regarding the perceived relationship between massage and sexuality. If the client apologizes and desists, and the therapist feels comfortable and safe, the session can be completed. Or perhaps the client had a massage in another country where sex was a normal part of the session. If massage therapists mistake an inadvertent arousal for an intentional invitation for sex and admonish their clients by prematurely ending a session or getting angry, they risk adding more embarrassment to that which may already exist for the clients. When a client is really open about his arousal and asks for help in dealing with it, I work with him to channel that energy to other parts of his body. It is an opportunity for therapists to deepen the relationship with their clients. Because she is so clear with her boundaries, I can completely relax and not have to wonder if she is inviting sex. After working with my sexual energy like this, I learned to trust that experiencing an arousal did not mean that I had to act on it. Unexpected Arousal There will be times when clients become inadvertently aroused. It is so clear and strong within me that it leaves no room for confusion. Client confusion A client may request sexual favors during a massage based on an unclear idea as to what is being offered. Many therapists conclude that in order to avoid confusion during massage sessions, they must change the way they really like to massage. If running a print ad is essential to your business, I would recommend that you place the ad in a healing journal rather than a regular newspaper. A woman may get excited during a massage, but it is much easier for her to hide this than it is for a man. Only if clients demand that therapists do something about it does it become a violation of boundaries. But boundaries alone are not enough. When a man gets aroused on my massage table, assuming that I have made my boundaries clear, I will let him know that there is nothing to worry about, as it can be a normal reaction to a massage. He did not want to have sex but was confused as to what was expected of him. So many of us crave to be touched like this. She had me send the rays of energy throughout my entire body, and when I did I felt the sexual energy move to my heart and I began to cry. If this were to happen, I could apologize for not having made my position clear before I started, and then state my boundaries. If, however, it seems that he is uncomfortable, I might choose to work farther away form the genital region, moving gracefully to the feet, hands or head to help diffuse the energy.
Video about having sex during a massage:
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